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Editor's Note: Beginning in 2003, Matthews Cremation Division (MCD)
conducted an intensive consumer research study on all aspects of cremation.
Conducted by market strategy firm Competitive Resources, Inc., the study
focused on six major topics:
This article is the fourth in that series. Future articles will look at
each of the remaining topics..
People inside our industry talk about burial or cremation as "disposition"
options, but for cremation families the job isn't finished. Once the cremation
is over, consumers confront what has become an increasingly difficult question:
what to do with the cremated remains. When our industry doesn't give them
the answers they need, many family members end up on the closet shelf.
This article discusses the results of Matthews' recent consumer research
project, and the opportunity to give families better support as they make
this final decision.
Poor Uncle Fred
As a child, I fondly remember the
days of venturing to the attic and looking for worldly treasures. Growing
up…what was kept in the attic provided several lifetimes of memories.
Passed along from generation to generation to generation…family heirlooms,
photo albums, garments of the time and various antiques…each provided a
story about our family heritage. As I grow older, what has suddenly become
alarming is how these family heirlooms will be viewed by future generations.
I recently experienced the challenging exercise of preparing our grandparents'
home for sale and having to work through the distribution of their personal
belongings. Like many families, our ability to absorb all of their furnishing
wasn't nearly enough and the painful truths became a somber reality. For most
of my grandparents' items, we were confronted with the agonizing knowledge
that these belongings were going to go somewhere other than with us. We knew
we were either going to donate to local charities, sell to strangers or
toss in the dumpster. It's a challenge that every generation faces - one
we're helpless to change. As we ponder these generational transitions, we
have to wonder how our cremation urns will fare. Will future generations
find a place for them, or could they too be thrown away, sold or left behind?
Will the cremated remains of poor Uncle Fred hold any meaning to a
great-great-great-niece or -nephew? This and other related cremation
disposition topics are the foundation for our next chapter - Part IV of our
consumer research conducted by the Matthews Cremation Division.
When we asked consumers about that ultimate disposition (a final resting
place), the feedback we received truly reflected a changing society.
Because our lives are so transient, the choice of where to place the urn
is becoming a real quandary. As we talked with consumers about their own
choices for disposition, it became obvious that there was a struggle with
their decision. Whether it was ground burial, placement in a niche or
columbarium, scattering or taken home…the choice could carry an awful burden
for loved ones. We heard that with any option, there could be consequences
that would disturb an individual for years to come. Time and time again we
heard consumers say things like "We buried Mom's urn back in Ohio, but I
live in Florida"…and they are there and I am here". There was no peaceful
resolution that wasn't going to be challenged in some particular manner. The
reality of today's mobile families is that someone or something is always
being left behind - almost any permanent resting place means that someone
is being left out.
It's Education, Stupid.
In some ways, the issue
is disarmingly simple. To paraphrase Bill Clinton's 1992 election mantra,
It's The Education, Stupid. The amount of misinformation regarding family
choice with a cremation disposition continues to be the industry Achilles
heel. Before we began this research, I worked with many funeral colleagues
who avoided the topic of disposition because they didn't own the ground,
niche, the columbarium or chartered boat. These inactions come back to haunt
us as we look at the ramifications this carries for the consumer and our
industry.
In our consumer research, time and time again we heard "I never knew" when
presenting various ways in which to establish a memorial with cremation.
You could almost hear Ross Perot's famous "giant sucking sound" - but this
time it was lost opportunity and income. If you knew that a particular memorial
would dictate various additional products and services that could be sourced
at your facility…wouldn't you want to talk about it? For the funeral
provider, avoiding these discussions is clearly going to affect your business
financially if you missed this critical opportunity to educate your families.
Educating your families early and often on the resources within the community
will strengthen your position as a valuable resource to selecting families.
Leaving this opportunity in the hands of anyone else will certainly leave
you in a very vulnerable position.
No matter how much our society has changed, the cemetery represents common
ground and familiar turf as a starting point for any discussion of memorials.
Still, when we began to solicit feedback about cremation and cemeteries,
there wasn't an immediate connection between the two. Choosing cremation
was supposed to help families avoid the high cost of real estate, and as
one woman politely asked in amazement, "Why would you bury with cremation?"
That's a fair question. But it's also evidence of a huge information gap.
When we showed consumers photos of cemetery cremation installations, too
many of them were surprised.
Give me some space.
In our research we showed consumers
various niche and columbarium designs and discussed their place and purpose.
Their responses were another interesting surprise. Personal space was a major
influence in determining which cemetery disposition was most appealing. It
was mentioned often when we presented upright niches that may hold 10-20
spaces, the fact that there were "strangers next door" or "bodies so close".
While it could seem puzzling if we think of the thousands and thousands of
acres where people are buried next to total strangers, the cremation environment
was clearly something different. Because the urns are so much smaller, placing
them next to each other made our consumers feel crowded. The phenomenon was
strongest with indoor columbarium installations. What was tolerable outdoors
became intolerably crowded when they went inside.
For some of our consumers the issue was clearly the closeness of strangers.
When we asked "How would this be if the people around you were other family
members?" their objections dissolved. Their concerns were also directed
toward the living. Especially with indoor installations, they talked about
how uncomfortable it might be "if you were there grieving for your loved
one and somebody else sat right next to you." When we showed other concepts
that weren't in such closed quarters, the heads began to nod with approval.
Glass-fronted columbarium installations were a special concern for some
of our consumers. They apparently imagined a thriving black market in used
cremation urns, because they consistently raised the issue of theft. While
this hasn't been a big problem in churches and cemeteries across the county,
our consumers were still clearly worried.
The Quest For Freedom
In our discussion of cemetery
property, we presented various memorial gardens that would support both
outside niches, park benches, fountains and scattering areas. This type
of presentation clearly received the highest marks. Part of that approval
stemmed from a sense of freedom. For some of our consumers the choice of
cremation was tied to a desire to free the soul…the body was nothing more
than a vessel. Modern cremation gardens were clearly a better fit with that
desire. To some of our people they represent life and vitality, and offered
a more pleasant, inviting experience for remembering their loved ones.
These types of settings allow families the freedom to release the ashes
or place them in a permanent memorial. Either way, this represents a pleasant
place to visit and offers an atmosphere that symbolizes the value of life…not
the sorrow of death. This represents an industry shift that is influencing
consumers' perceptions of cremation and requiring us to rethink every aspect
for our business.
Home by the sea
When we talked to our consumers
about scattering the conversation was dominated by stories about scattering
or burial at sea. They talked warmly about how appropriate and meaningful
the ceremony had been and how fondly they remembered it. They mentioned
businesses such as the Neptune Society as a resource for performing these
services, and a few people mentioned having looked in vain for a Neptune
branch in their areas. It was interesting (but perhaps not surprising) that
for the majority in our audience, this concept had never been mentioned by
the firms they dealt with. After a discussion of some of these possibilities
the idea was greeted positively by many in the room. Like most things, the
definition of appropriateness varied by individual. Still, the importance
of having a choice would always trump the possibility of a bad idea.
Steven Schaal is the Division Manager - Sales and Marketing for the
Matthews Cremation Division. He can be reached at sschaal@matw.com.
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Getting Uncle Fred Out of the Closet
In our
early discussions of what consumers had done with the cremated remains, we
were impressed by how many people had chosen "in-home placement." We later
learned that it was because we hadn't asked the question properly. For some
consumers, in-home placement refers to a cherished place in the living room,
or a "shrine" on the mantel. Far more often, however, that in-home placement
is on the top shelf in the hallway closet.
For most of our consumers that closet shelf was never meant to be a final
resting place. Racked by emotion in the days immediately after the death,
they were just saving the difficult choice for another day. Unfortunately,
the rest of their lives interfered. The establishment of a permanent memorial
for Dad was trumped by the house, the kid's school work, soccer practice and
the urgency of having to do the laundry. Like most procrastination, this
was accompanied by sheepishness or even serious guilt. Even that guilt,
however, hadn't been enough to get Dad's urn out of the closet.
In some ways, that spot on the closet shelf is our fault. Our industry
hasn't made it simple or easy enough to solve that dilemma. The sheepishness
and guilt that the consumers felt is clear evidence that they are motivated -
the lack of motivation belongs to us. We couldn't solve the problem for them
in the initial arrangement conference, and we haven't developed a profitable,
affordable, understandable way to help them afterward.
That brings us full circle - back to dilemma of poor Uncle Fred and the
thousands of other urns that share the same fate. If death overtakes their
families before they get the job done, what can we expect their children to
do with this dilemma? If the children don't share the same reverence for
Uncle Fred, his "last ride" could be to the town landfill in a big green
truck. If not careful, the future of our industry could be going with him.
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